Doing a photo shoot has always been one of those things that I thought was for “other people”. I always had excuse after excuse of why I could never do one – I will never have the right body, I completely lack the confidence, and what if I get bloated the day before! I never set out to do a shoot, it just kind of . . . happened.
#1: It sounds cliché, but don’t give up
After having my third child in February 2013, I remember driving home from the gym hyperventilating between tears. I felt chunky, fat, weak, and all of the other self-sabotaging emotions. I couldn’t even visualize being fit again, let alone seeing my abs. For the next several months, I took it a day at a time. Some days I would feel strong and in control of my food. Other days I would put away a half gallon of ice cream and brownies while feeling like an utter failure. I made a resolution – Have more good days than bad. I wasn’t telling myself it was OK to screw up, but I WAS telling myself not to feel guilty when I did. I was being real. I knew that if I started having more good days than bad, the body I wanted would follow. At that point, my goal wasn’t about a number on a scale or a percent of body fat, it was about not giving up. I did not see a photo shoot as the light at the end of the tunnel, but persistence made it happen. Focus on an action, not a result – you can control the action.
#2: Partner with the Right Coach for YOU
I have had three coaches in the past 18 months. Although all of them were great, credentialed, and produce results, I had to find the one that was the perfect fit . . . for ME. By the third coach, I had found a coach that I could partner with, could ask anything, tell him anything, could be honest and feel no reason to hide anything. I trust him. He has never shamed me or made me feel guilty when I mess up. I respect him, and because of that, I push myself harder in the gym, eat more mindfully, and definitely have more good days than bad. He holds me accountable, and I want to be able to tell him “I killed that workout”.
The value of having an honest relationship with my coach is immeasurable. At one point, I had told him that I had been feeling run down and weak. This feeling persisted for quite a while. He listened and had me de-load my training for a week. He didn’t shame me, he told me I NEEDED to and required me to have a week in the gym where I just had fun. He listened to me and listened to my body. Because of our partnership and full disclosure relationship, he knew I was being 100% honest which allowed him to do his job – take care of me and my body.
My coach has always had my best interest at heart and isn’t afraid to tell me “no”. I sent him a picture of my ideal look and he did not respond with “Sure, let’s do it!” He responded with a challenge, “Take a step back. All of that is wonderful and very good, but needs to be done from a place of self growth, and self love. Not out of a place of pure dissatisfaction and not loving yourself” and a bit of brutal honesty “If I’m being very honest, her body fat percentage is likely messing with her cycle (non-existent). You can maintain NOT FAR off of that. In my opinion, she’s a bit TOO lean to be walking around like that all the time. Some people are genetic freaks – but she’s not one of them haha.”
See – best interest at heart. Conversations like these let you know you have a good coach.
#3: Understanding Needs vs. Wants
It takes time to get to know your body, to understand hunger versus stress, understand muscular fatigue versus emotional exhaustion. It takes time to know when it is OK to have a “cheat” meal and when it is not. It takes practice listening to your body. The ultimate goal is to learn to understand what your body needs versus what you want. As my coach did, he told me to take a de-load week because my body NEEDED it, not because I was bitching and moaning and asked for it.
How do you know when you grasped need versus want? The guilt is removed. If you justify having a donut, but know deep down you shouldn’t, there will be a tinge of guilt attached. Conversely, if you take a day off from the gym because you know yourself well enough to know that your body is zonked and needs a break – there won’t be guilt because you are educated enough to recognize the signs your body is giving off. This understanding goes hand in hand with having a good partnership with a coach. Until you understand your bodies feedback, a good coach can help you interpret what you are feeling.
Deciphering your bodies needs versus wants takes time – but once you grasp it, you will be unstoppable.
I never set out to do a photo shoot, but taking things one step at a time allowed me to get photo ready without crash dieting or over-stressing about it. Give yourself realistic action-based goals, find a coach that you trust, and get real with yourself.
For more about my background and struggles, stayed tuned for more updates.